acceptance and surrender
Hi there, how have you been lately?
I hope you're able to stay hydrated inside and out . It's getting hot, in many ways. Take that as you will.
Quick Info & Early Summer Events
Massage & Energy Work
Saturday massage openings are back :)
Book your appointment here and check back throughout the season for more availability.
Events
*Circle & Sound for the Childfree*
Sunday July 12th 1:30p | The Atlanta Grief House
500 S Columbia Dr, Decatur, GA 30030, USA
Sliding Scale $25-$45
Sign up here with The Atlanta Grief House
This is an offering near and dear to my heart for those who are childfree no matter by choice or circumstance. There will be time to share if you choose, followed by a sound bath.
Feel free to bring things to make a cozy nest for the sound portion if you wish.
*New Moon Psychic Sound Circle*
Wednesday August 12th 7pm | Dragonfly Healing Arts
Decatur ga
Sliding Scale $25-$55
To sign up: VENMO: WITCH-MAMA with email in notes
Psychic Sound Circle is truly an experience that only being there can give you words for. Seating is limited, register today.
Suggestions of things to bring:
an open mind
something to lay on
pen and paper
an eye mask
ice water- it's summer in GA.
a cup for tea
We recently tried to dig up a fruit tree offered to us by someone moving states wanting it to have a good home.
It was a Persimmon tree and on my list, sweet!
Joseph agreed with far too little information to spend a hot Sunday morning doing what amounted to digging and refilling a large hole.
About 10 min into the digging I could hear in the wind “did you even ask me if I wanted to leave or stay” .. the tree.
I reply. Oh, yes, we should’ve asked you. I’m sorry.
We kept going. A couple feet down we could see her roots intertwined and underneath the roots of a nearby Water Oak.
The persimmon tree didn’t want to leave. (As) If we needed confirmation, there it was. We put all the soil back, apologized and left her where she stood.
There are many lessons here, I’m sure. Currently they all feel related to my fertility. Signs in the wind. toiling. leaving with only sore bodies and lessons to tend to.
That thought doesn’t really sting but feels more like an observation. Though today, I can remember the version of me that would've held the comparison closely.
I think it’s the season. This is the time of year that our pregnancy journey became our infertility journey. When we first started seeking and receiving medical support to get pregnant. That was a decade ago. Even here in the acceptance of our childfree reality, my body or mind or spirit or all, remembers this time of year and how it was the beginning of a long emotional and literally fruitless journey.
At the top of summer there is an urgency that bubbles inside of me to Create. Produce. Make. I suspect this was the case long before my (in)fertility entered the mix and now that’s just a big piece that dominates it at times.
In the last year or so we have accepted and embraced being childfree more honestly.
I've tried to make less excuses and comparisons of myself.
I am better at surrendering to the truth of existing together, me and my infertility grief. We’ve been together long enough to believe that there’s no escaping her. I am not trying to. Surrender, once again. Each year that passes our relationship changes.
The memory of when her existence felt like swallowing magma, hot in my ears, in my tears, and mouth and throat and chest. cooling as it settles slowly, heavy down in my belly. cold in my womb. a memory.
She exist outside of my body now, most of the time. I feel her on my left side. Life size, as big as I am. Here we exist, together in the heat of the summer warming to a boil. Silently begging each effort of creation and collaboration to bear fruit.
Is she the childless version of me? am I the childfree version of her? I wonder.
There will be other offerings to come together with others existing in their own wondering . Keep an eye out.
Early Summer Reads
Ritual - Power, Healing and Community - Malidoma Patrice Somé (finished read)
a signed copy borrowed from my grandfathers shelf.
The Healing Wisdom of Africa: Finding Life Purpose Through Nature, Ritual, and Community - Malidoma Patrice Somé (Current Read)
The Web That Has No Weaver: Understanding Chinese Medicine - Ted Kaptchuk (ongoing read)
Music
Album : Tëntëy by sondaeblu
For Fun
Lately I've been going back through Rowan + Sage's Kitchen Herb Craft. It's such an incredible resource and each time i rewatch a lesson i learn something else.
I love herb crafting and kitchen witchin. Filling my "apantrycary" with herbal preparations has been so much fun. ( scratching that itch to "make")
two of the herbal allies on my summer "get to know" list are red clover and fennel.
I've been adding red clover to a variety of teas and infusing it in oils for body butters.
I really enjoy it with tulsi. and also added to black tea with cream and honey.
A staple lately and a new fav is ginger fennel lemonade. Taking time each night to be with and prepare the ginger tea and fennel infusion has been a beautiful slow practice added to the wind down.
I've also made the first batch of fire cider and a few tincture for bitters to pack while traveling later this year.
Has it been all work and no play this fast, hot summer?
What have you been (or would like to be) doing for fun ?
Take care, take it easy, take it one breath at a time.
Porter
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